Today's Crash (Day 1139): "Owed" to Long Covid ME/CFS   Upon awaking-- body gently spinning, vibrating, Breathing shallow, heart racing, Limbs so heavy, thoughts so slow Another day gone before you know   Calm acceptance, mixed with grief, Fighting offers no...

Medicated Faith   “Holy orange bottles, each night, I pray to you" -Taylor Swift: Soon You'll Get Better   A prayer to my orange bottles:   I spent 4 months to get you Endless rounds of blood work- turning up nothing "Goodbye blood" Go off and finally...

Resilience   You’re sick isn’t worthy.  No ribbon, no run. Not dying, not living.  Just a life come undone.   Tests do not show, The battles you’ve fought. Some will believe you,  Others will not.   You’ve lost all your shine. You’re just not the same....

My Eyes Many sights once blessed my eyes: Candlelight flickering against cold walls, illuminating my song. Melismatic music fluttering across pages like butterflies made of notes. Steady silhouettes of an anticipating audience, eager for my next line. Elastic on my...

The Alone   One Room, four walls, two windows, one door and one bed. The Alone Minimal Silent   To survive in The Alone acceptance is mandatory No choice Letting go Floating, untethered Existing in a void rather than a place   Dry and suffocating The...

Grief Allayed I lay here in my bed and grieve for what I may not have - for love of spouse and smile Of child and ties bound close to fellow man. These are good things, my heart cries out, and yet I am denied much of the happiness of earth. How can the great good God...

Melissa's World Each day my room's eternally A prison and infirmary It's not a choice that's up to me Relentlessly I miss my family, lost my friends The list of losses never ends My body breaks, my spirit bends Relentlessly I've tried it all, took every test I...

I Miss…   “I’ll pick you up in 5.” “I’ll be outside.” … I miss spontaneity.   Work was my oxygen. Managing, Teamwork, Sharing, Training … Gone Manager, Vice President, President … Invisible. Committees, Meetings, Flights … Absent. …  I miss work. I miss...

Oz Like Joints as stiff and creaky as the Tin Man… When, oh when will they find a lubricant that works for them… Brain as foggy as the Scarecrow… Can’t concentrate, can’t comprehend, can’t remember, will this fog lift someday, somehow… Fear as deep as the Cowardly...

Oh How I Miss Reading   Oh how I miss reading, The ability to get lost in a book, To be swept away by the story, To hear the characters in my head!   I’ve been robbed of the ability to concentrate, Absorb meaning, Follow the story.   Eyes so tired, Eyes...

I wish I could say, “yes,” … that I can go with you to the concert. … that I can figure out the grocery list, go to the store, and unpack when I get home. … that I can walk with you around our neighborhood. … that I will vacuum the house and do the laundry and cook...

Watching the World   I open the door from my room I watch the world People in school for degrees People on sunny sandy beaches People winning awards People on trips with friends I love watching everything I dream of joining in I wonder about being part I close...