I Miss…
“I’ll pick you up in 5.”
“I’ll be outside.”
… I miss spontaneity.
Work was my oxygen.
Managing, Teamwork, Sharing, Training … Gone
Manager, Vice President, President … Invisible.
Committees, Meetings, Flights … Absent.
… I miss work. I miss people. I miss contributing.
Athletics, Sports, Gym Rat, Perpetual Tan
Up the stairs two at a time.
Down the stairs two at a time.
No Gym. No stairs.
Bed to recliner to bed. Repeat.
…I miss my body.
Why didn’t she join us?
Sick.
Sick with what?
Not sure.
She looked fine.
How to explain?
… I miss friends.
I’m so sore.
It hurts everywhere.
Feels like I’m in a vice.
Please don’t touch me.
Fibro.. what?!
… I miss hugs.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t think – it’s all jumbled … again
Did I type that?
Was that today? Yesterday?
… I miss my (fogless) brain
My body’s battery now only holds one bar of energy.
Get out of bed. Get in the shower.
Get back in bed. Recharge
Get out – dry off, brush teeth, brush hair.
Get back in bed. Recharge.
Get up – dry hair, maybe some blush.
Get back in bed. Recharge.
Get up and get dressed.
Go to the doctor … and wait.
Can’t sit. Wish they had recliners.
See the Dr. “Labs looks good. Try supplement # 137”.
Back in bed – I’ve crashed. Sleep for 2, 3, 4 … days.
Can’t work –I worry.
Can’t see friends – I worry.
House is a mess – I worry.
Can’t eat right – I worry.
Everyone getting so far away – I worry.
Everything is getting so far away.
I’m so sorry I can’t.
I’m so sorry I didn’t.
I‘m so sorry I won’t be able to.
I’m so sorry I forgot.
I’m sorry.
MyalgicEncephalomyelitis (ME), Chronic Fatigue (CFS), Fibromyalgia (FMS)
Why can’t there be a name that people could say, and maybe understand?
I am not a syndrome.
Today, I sat outside.
A lizard scampers – I smile.
A butterfly lights – I smile.
I hear an airplane. I’m here! I’m here!
… I miss me.
Joni – Florida
This poem was submitted as part of the Reflections of ME/CFS and FM and Long COVID Awareness Day Virtual Event on May 9th, 2023.
#MillionsMissing #MillionsMore #Hope4MECFS #Hope4FM #Hope4LongCOVID
