The Monster

If I had to describe my chronic illness as a creature, it would be a grotesque, 

twitchy hare with a hyena head and spider legs. It’s the stuff of nightmares. 

Can you imagine it? A blind, lifeless eye staring back at me while venomous 

drool drips from its maw? It’s a horror show waiting to happen.

But let me tell you, this monster isn’t just a figment of my imagination. It’s a 

part of me, and it’s been with me since 2020. It’s like a trapdoor spider, 

always lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. And 

when it does, it’s like being pulled into a dark, underground burrow, helpless 

and paralyzed as venom courses through my veins.

But that’s not all. This monster is also part hyena, mocking me with its 

taunting laughter, as if my suffering is some kind of sick joke. The hyena 

head also represents the crippling brain fog and pounding migraines that 

follow me around like a…..

And then there’s the blind eye. It’s a reminder of the sudden, inexplicable 

blindness that sometimes comes over me, leaving me lost and disoriented in 

a world that doesn’t make sense. It’s like being trapped in a nightmare you 

can’t escape.

But it’s not all darkness and terror. There’s also a part of this monster that’s 

like a rabbit, constantly poked and prodded, experimented on like a lab 

animal. It’s a strange, confusing existence, like living in a world that doesn’t 

quite understand you.

In the end, this monster isn’t evil or malicious, just misunderstood and 

unpredictable. It’s a part of me that I can’t escape, no matter how hard I try. 

But by drawing it out and sharing it with the world, I hope to shed some light 

on the reality of living with a chronic illness.

Ella is 16 years old and the artist of the drawing.

This poem was submitted as part of the Reflections of ME/CFS and FM and Long COVID Awareness Day Virtual Event on May 9th, 2023.

#MillionsMissing #MillionsMore #Hope4MECFS #Hope4FM #Hope4LongCOVID