Some days fibromyalgia feels like “Mom.”

Can I be your mom today?

My mind screams out in dismay

Headaches, fatigue, and pain take me away

My body pulls me down day after day

I struggle to be present when you play

To help with your school on the display

I want to be your everything come what may

I fear your answer may turn me away

Your embracing arms around me say

You can be my mom every day.

Some weeks fibromyalgia feels like “Reaching.”

My mind reaches for memories

Positive words

You crushed it on the hike

Mom you are amazing

Your presentation was the best

I reach for the hope words bring

Family pictures

me surrounded by my girls

me walking down the street hand in hand

me eating out dinner for two

I reach for the peace pictures bring

For the week I’m empty, fatigue covers me, pain pulls me

And I scream for control

drinking, cutting, purging

Ending pain, but no, it’s a mirage

My mind reaches for my memories

Keeping me whole

Some months fibromyalgia feels like “January Sun.”

Storm clouds breaking

Desert sun piercing

Bright rays enveloping

Soft face embracing

Dark depression waning

Heavy fatigue lifting

Deep aches releasing

Some years fibromyalgia feels like “The Clock.”

tick tock

telling time

can torture

tic tock

horrific headaches

can hinder

tick tock

silent sleep

can surprise

tick tock

Friday fatigue

can infuriate

tick tock

helpful hand

can humble

tick tock

puncturing pain

can persist

tick tock

unknowable unknowns

can unravel us

This poem was shared at the ME/CFS and FM Awareness Day Virtual Event on May 12th 2021. Allyson is a mother of three and discovered poetry writing as a way to cope with her journey of having fibromyalgia. 

#MillionsMissing #MillionsMore #Hope4MECFS #Hope4FM #Hope4LongCOVID