“Better Because of M.E.”
Despite decades of sickness, I’m still me.
I’m still of worth; better because of M.E.
More loving, empathetic, patient and kind
In spite of “losing” some of my mind.
Stuck at home but not in the mud,
I “get back up” in spite of the crud.
There are lives to bless, differences to make,
Tho’ often in bed, I’ll never break.
Can’t do very much, but it’s made me more—
Richer in value with great things in store.
It’s always darkest before the light,
I hang on tightly, the dawn’s always bright.
Limitations seem endless, but it’s never the end,
I keep looking for healing and hope to mend.
There are so many things I can no longer do,
But I treasure the things not so clearly in view—
People, love, truth and much more,
Always learning, I can still rise and soar.
Discouraged at times and frustrated too,
But never so much that I can’t get through.
Always look up, it’s brighter than down.
Even tired in bed in my old nightgown.
Tho I often can’t do things, undaunted I am;
I still count my blessings and ignore the slam.
I focus not on what I can’t do,
But “the value you have, the you that is you.”
Lots of down time, hobbies are few,
But always learning things that are new.
I’m trapped in a body that can’t do much,
But my potential is great, tight in my clutch;
There’s always tomorrow with hope burning bright,
In spite of my now, painful limited flight.
Never give up, never give in,
There’s always a way if I go for the win.
On bad days I learn, the few good ones I “live,”
Grateful to grow, to share and to give.
Even tho’ it’s small it still matters lots,
To let others know they’re in my thoughts.
Conversations are hard, focus is poor,
Sounds and stimuli hurt to the core;
But I’m thankful each day and find the joy,
Ignoring the pains and things that annoy.
My time can be shared, my insights too,
There’s always something good I can do.
Though at times there are often many tears,
They release emotions pent up for years.
They cleanse, renew and give me new hope,
Strengthen resolve and help me to cope.
I may be sick, I may be down,
But that doesn’t mean I must always frown.
I’ve come close many times to ending it all,
Especially when I could barely “crawl.”
But that’s not life, that way’s ugly and dark,
Far, far away from my true benchmark.
Life can be good when I make it that way,
The longer I work at it the more it stays.
It’s what we make it, we must decide;
Choose thanks, joy and goodness to be our guide.
Life has much purpose, it can be grand,
Even when most activity is “banned.”
Choose thoughts wisely, for they become real.
Always seek goodness so we can heal.
Give it our best, even tho’ it seems small,
To someone else we can be their all.
Small acts of service help all involved
Despite the problems that remain unsolved.
Beauty surrounds us waiting to be found,
Good can be ours, and can richly abound.
We are the masters of our fate;
Life can be awful, or it can be great!
With Love and Empathy to all who battle ME/CFS, FM, and many other invisible illnesses,
RuthAnn developed ME/CFS and FM in 1988 after contracting a cytomegalovirus liver infection and three rounds of mononucleosis. Prior to becoming sick she processed Revenue Officer’s work and enjoyed playing volleyball, basketball, softball, track, gymnastics, and dancing. Now she enjoys sewing, jigsaw puzzles, bird watching, and anything electronic when her symptoms allow. She lives in Farmington, Utah, with her husband.
Her hope is that in sharing this poem people with ME/CFS can receive hope to learn and grow on bad days and share and give on the few good days.
This poem was shared at the ME/CFS and FM Awareness Day Virtual Event on May 11th, 2022.
#MillionsMissing #MillionsMore #Hope4MECFS #Hope4FM #Hope4LongCOVID